SIGNPOSTS
Stuff the mushrooms
by Pia Muggerud
Navigating the many roleswomen face isn’t an easy task, especially because we have to try to remain true to ourselves.
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mum, a working mother or a career woman who derives a lot of self-esteem from your job, it’s increasingly difficult to find time for ourselves as we try to balance our responsibilities. We might all aspire to be a domestic goddess à la Nigella Lawson, but she has full-time staff to assist her, despite what she says on her TV shows.
Be realistic about what you can achieve instead of becoming stuck in a cycle of low self-esteem due to unmet goals or expectations.
In her 1970s feminist manifesto Superwoman, Shirley Conran said that “life’s too short to stuff a mushroom”, debunking expectations (often self-imposed) that women should be able to have – and do – it all.
So you may be asking yourself, ‘Do I have to choose between being a domestic goddess and having a career?’ The answer is no. But you need a healthy balance to function well and feel good.
It’s not always appropriate to express yourself in the workplace, but it’s your responsibility to do so when you leave the office.
Leave the suit behind you when you close the office door and go home to relax or out to have fun. Likewise, if you’re spending all your time with people under 10 years old you need to spend some time in the adult world.
So, how do you indulge yourself without feeling self-indulgent? Here are some things you can spend time doing without feeling guilty.
- Make time for yourself and spend this time alone doing something you enjoy such as listening to music, reading or writing a diary.
- Work less and sleep or relax more. It’s tempting, especially in Hong Kong, to over-work, but rest is critical to feeling rejuvenated.
- Book a massage or have a bubble bath: physical pleasure is important.
- Learn to love your body – regardless of its shape or size.
- Exercise has a positive impact on both your physical and mental well-being. Even a short workout is beneficial. Look for variety. Many former gym slaves now swear by yoga and Pilates.
- Spend time with your friends. It may be difficult to arrange, especially if you’re in relationships, but friendships need to be nurtured.
- Try something completely different. Design your own webpage, take up tennis or try out for a dragon boat team. Learning a new skill breaks the boredom.
- Take time for a personal audit. Write down some of the negative things in your life and consider how you can change them. Remember to reflect on the positives for a feelgood boost.
Pia Muggerud is a member of the Hong Kong International Coaching Community (info@coachinghk.org)
