Communication or Conversation?
By Dr Hilary Armstrong, PhD
When we call someone a "communication expert" we assume this means that they exhibit great conversation and relationship skills. This is not always so.
The field of communication expertise is broad and undefined. Commonly people understand communication as getting a message across. If this is the case, then communication stands for a myriad of different practices in organisations, including networking, external and internal communication strategies, marketing the brand, emailing, and communication training. Communication therefore is seen as primarily a one way activity that is framed by efficiency, task orientation and outcome achievement. For example, when people design a communication strategy, it is about "managing the message", when they are taught communication it is likely to be about "closing the sale", presentation skills are about "how to influence people" (without causing "death by power-point"). All of this activity actually leads to a reduction of interpersonal skills in favour of techniques like active listening (being seen to nod wisely with the mind elsewhere), or talking with clarity (say it short and to the point so that 'dot-point' conversations become the accepted norm) or using email wisely (saying it how it is - but not saying it face to face).
At the Institute of Executive Coaching (IEC) we differentiate between "communication" and "conversation". This is because communication is too general a term. It is also why many "communication experts", like other organisation specialists, require coaching to improve their communication skills. When people understand that communication includes the everyday conversations in which we are all active participants - responding to one another and achieving tasks through relationship - then communication starts to work more effectively.
Organisations are a network of relationships which are held together by the DNA of conversation - some say the conversation IS the relationship. If you think about how many conversations there are in your day you will notice that there is not one task, one business result or one performance issue that is achieved without a conversation. However we are not taught these very important skills at any time in our education and few people know how to encourage a good conversation, let alone what makes a good conversation effective. How many times do you leave a conversation thinking, "that didn't go well'', or, "I wonder if they understood'', or, "I wonder how they came to think that that was what I said to do"?
An extensive 2005 study of employee engagement in the UK found that meetings with effective communication were the most motivating arena in the workplace.
There was overwhelming support for face-to-face conversations, and when conversation did not exist in the workplace, 80% of employees were demotivated and more likely to leave.
What the IEC is finding through our research into the benefits that people are getting from coaching is that the aspect of communication called "conversation" is the main skill that people want to learn and indeed, are learning, from coaching. Coaching assists people to gain the skills of the various forms of workplace conversations that include setting clear goals and expectations, giving and receiving feedback (both positive and negative), influencing others and managing difficult performance issues. Effective conversation practices open the space for upward and downward management; they allow people to be open with what they think and do; they prevent underground conversations and gossip and they assist the development of high performing teams. Coaching is a means of learning these things as well as modelling them.
In particular, coaching people to communicate more effectively is shown to:
- Build safety and trust
- Create more openness because people feel listened to and will listen to others
- Build more respectful communication
- Increase willingness to give feedback and have difficult conversations
- Encourage shared accountability
- Raise performance and engagement levels
Through coaching for improved everyday communication, people move to another level of enthusiasm for their work. This comes from the fact that they are willing to say the things that are difficult - that management does not necessarily want to hear - and feel that they are heard. It means they can speak the "unspeakable" and bring ideas out into the open for discussion and review, improving organisational knowledge and wisdom.
Dr Hilary Armstrong, PhD is the Director of Research and Training at the Institute of Executive Coaching. She is a master coach and a skilled presenter and facilitator with significant experience in building people's capacity to reach their potential in today's challenging workplace environments. Hilary specialises in narrative psychology and coaching, ethical conversations, and reflective practice. She has published works in the field of qualitative and evaluation research, executive coaching, ethical conversations, and narrative psychology. Hilary will conduct IEC coach training in Hong Kong in February, 2009.
The Institute of Executive Coaching was established in 1999 as a centre of excellence for executive coaching in Australia and the Asia-Pacific. Since that time we have trained over 2,000 coaches, and have become known as one of the region's most respected coaching and coach training organisations. For more information on our research or coach training program see www.iecoaching.com
