Are you playing to win?
By Deirdre Van Nest
I’m going to start this article with a question. Now, don’t answer too quickly. I want you to really consider what’s true for you. Here it is:
Do you love winning more than you hate losing?
Take some time to think about it. The answer to this question is critical because if you hate losing more than you love winning your life is probably being run by fear. You have to learn to like winning more than you hate losing in order to have the life you want.
In his book Play to Win! Author Larry Wilson says that there are two games to play in life, the game of "Not to Lose" and the game of "Play to Win".
Playing Not to Lose is about making choices and setting up your life in such a way that you avoid losing. You stay in your comfort zone because losing brings with it the possibility of feeling things like rejection, failure, looking stupid, etc. While no one likes to feel these things, these feelings are an inevitable part of growth. If you are making choices to avoid feeling these feelings your life is being run by fear.
On the hand, Playing to Win is about getting out of your comfort zone. It's about being willing to take a risk and go after what you really want. It's about being authentic and vulnerable in your relationships and about becoming more of who God created you to be.
I’d like you to encourage you to take the following action steps: First, consider the question “What would I be doing differently in my life if I were playing to win?” Next, take each important role you play (wife, husband, mother, father, business person, friend, etc.) and write down the answer to the above question. Finally, pick one action from each category and start implementing that action in the next week. Another option is to pick one category to focus on for a period of time. Once you feel confident about where you’re at in that category, begin working on another.
The great news is that playing to win is a learned way of thinking. Even those who see the glass half empty can learn to approach their life in this way if they are willing. It's choosing to live your life intentionally looking for ways to get out of your comfort zone and go after your dreams.
If you would like to start living this way I would love to support you. Please email me for information on the private and group coaching services I have available. |
